What the fuck y'all it's mid-September already. I came back to Evanston from Colombia almost a month ago, can someone please lmk what I have been doing here for a whole goddamn month because I for sure do not have a clue. I imagined my time alone in Evanston was going to be a burst of creativity/activity -- I just expected something magical to happen to me and then my whole life would be resolved. Nothing happened. I haven't even posted a single Instagram picture, that's how bad I've been at doing stuff. I'm working two on-campus jobs, which, of course, is something. I've also been hanging out with people, I promise. But I don't feel like I've worked toward my personal projects at all.
The feeling that time is running out is haunting me day and night, and I'm not sure what's triggering the urgency. I mean sure, I have things to be stressed out about. Managing school and extracurricular activities is going to be huge for me this year. I'm also stressed out about moving into my sorority because the logistics behind that are a fucking mess. And, mostly, I'm stressed out about securing a really good internship for next summer, yet idk if I'll get it/if I'll get permission to do it. Fuck my life tbh I really just wish I were someone else rn lol. Moody bitch here hehe.
But moodiness aside, don't you all feel like time is running out? Just like... everything is moving so fast. There is no time to do anything! I don't think I'm bad at time management or anything, though. I think the real problem is that time just goes by and nothing happens...? Maybe that's a more accurate description of what I am feeling...? I don't even know! And people tell me I'm in touch with my emotions smh.
What to do when you feel this way... hmmm. In part, this is why I'm writing this post: I kind of want to put something out there even if it's irrelevant. Maybe if I do do do, I won't be feeling bad for the fact that nothing is happening, if that makes any sense. The main reason I don't do shit I want to do is because I'm scared it's not going to be good, but like wtf, nothing will ever be tbh fuck it. The point is, I guess this fear of time running out at least seems to be motivating me to do. So I guess that'll mean you'll see a lot of me ;) ---- and that's a sexy wink, not a threat. BYEEEE.